लग्ना’च्या पहिल्या रात्री नवरा-बायको कार्य’क्रम करत असतात, “नवरा सुरु’वात करतो”

Home मनोरंजन मराठी विनोद सामान्य ज्ञान

नमस्कार मंडळी,

कसे आहेत मजेत ना, हसताय ना, हसायलाच पाहिजे. कारण हसणे हे आरोग्यासाठी एकदम चांगले असते. हसल्याने माणसाची सर्व विचार आणि टेन्शन पळून जातात. तसेच आरोग्य हि उत्तम राहते. कोरोनामुळे आपण सर्व घरातच कैद झालोय आणि आयुष्य कस बोरं होऊन गेलेय. म्हणून तुम्हाला ह्या बोरं आयुष्यात मनोरंजन करण्यासाठी आम्ही काही विनोद आणले आहेत. ते वाचून तुम्हाला नकी हसू येईल आणि तुम्ही आनंदित व्हाल. चला तर मग वाचूया काही मराठी विनोद –

विनोद १- हा जो क इतका पां चट आहे कि तुम्ही २ सेकंद विचार कराल आणि मग हसाल…. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
एक नवीन लग्न झालेली बाई मस्त बसून को क पी त होती, अचानक त्या कोक मध्ये एक म च्छर येऊन पडला, त्या बाई ने त्या म च्छरला बाहेर काढला
आणि म च्छर बाहेर येताच बोलला, “आ ई”…. बाई: अरे तु मला आई का बोललास…..
म च्छर: मी तुझ्या को क मधून निघालो आहे ना “आई” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

विनोद २- बायको: आज पर्यंत तुम्ही मला कुठे फिरायला नेले नाही आहे , लग्नाला १o वर्ष झाली.. कधी नेणार आहात मला फिरायला….
नवरा: असं का… ठीक आहे मग चाल आज जाऊ फिरायला… मग संध्याकाळी नवरा बायकोला घेऊन स्म शा न घा टला जातो…
बायको ते बघून एकदम चिडते आणि रागात बोलते: तुम्ही वे डे झाले का, स्म शा न काय फिरायची जागा आहे का ?
मला इथे का आणले…. नवरा: अरे वेडी आहेस का तू …!!
लोकं मर ता त इथे यायला आणि तू बोलते कुठे आणले मला… 🤣🤣🤣🤣

विनोद ३- रात्री लाईट गेल्यावर न वरा बाय को ह्यांच्यात झालेला सं वाद….. बायको- जानू छोट्या होल मध्ये नाही मोठ्या हो ल मध्ये टाक…
नवरा- अंधार एवढा आहे कि हो ल दिसत नाही आहे… बायको- एक काम कर बोट फिरावं होल सापडले कि त्यामद्ये टाकून दे…
नवरा- अरे वाह ! अंधारात पण बोटांनी होल भेटून गेले.. बायको- हां आता आरामात मध्ये टाकं…!!
नवरा- गेला पूर्ण मध्ये किती कठीण आहे अंधा रात मोबा ईल मध्ये हेड फोन ची पिन लावणे…. लागला ना डो क्याला शॉ ट…. 😜😜😜.😃😃😃

विनोद ४- एकदा एका भि काऱ्याला १ करो डची लॉ टरी लागली…!!!!
तर त्याने एक मो ठे मं दिर बनविले..!!! त्याचा मित्र भि कारी: काय रे तू मं दिर का बनविलेस..???
पहिला भि कारी: आता याच्या समोर फक्त आणि फक्त मीच बसणार आणि भी क मागणार…!!!😜😜😜.😃😃😃
“याला म्हणतात गुंत वणूक”

विनोद ५- ऍपल कंपनीच्या यशामधे दा दा कों डके यांचा मोलाचा वाटा आहे. कसा??
St eve Jo bs- दादा माझे प्रो डक्ट यशस्वी होण्यासाठी काय करु?
दा दा कों डके -“I”घाल…. यानँतर तुम्ही बघितलेच… Ip hone, Ip ad, Ip od etc.

विनोद ६- तु दीसलीस की ता ठ होतो माझा, ‘स्वा भिमान’ तु हासलीस की फ वारा उडतो माझ्या,.’मनातुन आनंदाचा’
तु बोललीस कि वाटते घालावा तुझ्या तों डात,’पेढ्याचा घा स’ तु लाजलीस की वाटते दा बावे तुझे दोन्ही,’गा ल’
आणि,तु निघुन गेल्यावर वाटते हालवत रहावा वर करुन, ‘हात’ बाय बाय करण्यासाठी.
N o n V e g मेसेज आणि माझ्याकडून…शक्यच नाही…!😜😜😜.

विनोद ७- ऎक बाई आपला डा वा बाँ ल उघडा ठेऊन रस्त्यावर What s app वर चॅ ट करत जात असते ….
लोक बघत असतात पण काय बोलाव कोणाला झाटा समजत नाही … शेवटी 1 दे वमाणुस तिथे जाऊन तिला विचारतो… हे काय चाललय?
ती बाई अचानक भाना वर येते आणि किं चाळते … आय चि गां ड पोरग एस टीतच राहिल वाटत !😜😜😜.

विनोद ८- गुरूजी : मुलांनो, स्कॉलर शिपच्या फॉ र्म मध्ये नाव लिहीण्याची जागा छोटी असल्या कारणाने, तुम्ही आप आपली नावे संपूर्ण न लिहीता शॉर्ट मध्ये लिहावे.
उदारर्णार्थ “किशोर विलास पाटील” हे नाव तुम्ही शॉर्ट मध्ये “कि. वि. पाटील’ असे लिहावे….. विध्यार्थी : माझं नाव शॉ र्ट मध्ये लिहीणे अवघड जाईल, सर.
गुरूजी : का ? काय आहे तुझे नाव ? विध्यार्थी : पुरशोत्तम चिराग चाटे …. गुरूजींनी फॉ र्म जाळून टाकले.😃😃😃😜

विनोद ९- बसमध्ये एकाच सिटवर एक माणूस आणि एक बाई बसलेली असते. तो माणूस त्या बाईला विचारतो
माणूसः तूम्हाला किती मुले आहेत…… बाईः दहा मुले आहेत……माणूसः वा तूमची जमीन फारच सुपीक आहे.
बाईः भोस डिच्या माझी ज मीन…. सुपीक नाही माझा धनी क ष्टा ळू आहे.😃😃😃

विनोद १० – वाचून हसून हसून पोट दुखणार मी अजून हसतोय… एकदा एका बाई ने शाळेत एक मुलाला प्रश्न विचारला.:::::::
बाई : बाळा सांग बरं तुमच्या घरात सगळ्यात लहान कोण आहे? मुलगा : बाई घरात सर्वात लहान माझे बाबा आहेत…!
बाई : बाबा कस काय लहान आहेत…??? मुलगा: कारण ते अजुनही आ ईच्या अं गावर झोपतात आणि दु ध पितात…!!!!
बाई जागेवर कोस ळल्या.😂😂😂

विनोद १० – एकदा एका चा’व’ट मुलीला लग्नासाठी पाहायला पाहुणे येतात…..
मुलगी चहा घेऊन येते…… पाहुणे: बाळा तुला चहा येतो का?
मुलगी पटकन लाजते आणि सांगते
मुलगी: अहो अजून मला दूध येत नाही चहा कुठून येणार… 😂😂😂

विनोद ११- लग्ना’च्या पहिल्या रात्री नवरा बायको कार्य’क्रम करत असतात
नवरा सुरु’वात करतो ….. बायको- अहो खूप दुखत आहे, हळू करा हो…!!
नवरा- तू १० पर्यंत आकडे मोज…. नंतर मी थांबेल….
बायको- १, २ आह.. ३,४ आईईईई… ५,६ आह्ह्हह्ह… ७,८ ह्ह्हह्ह, ९,१० वाहह्ह्ह्ह… १०,९….. हम्म्म्म्म….. ८,७…. ह्म्म्म मस्तततत्त्त्त…
६,५ थांबू नकाकक्कक्क…. 😂😜😂😂

कसे आहेत मजेत ना, हसताय ना, हसायलाच पाहिजे. कारण हसणे हे आरोग्यासाठी एकदम चांगले असते. हसल्याने माणसाची सर्व विचार आणि टेन्शन पळून जातात. तसेच आरोग्य हि उत्तम राहते. कोरोनामुळे आपण सर्व घरातच कैद झालोय आणि आयुष्य कस बोरं होऊन गेलेय. म्हणून तुम्हाला ह्या बोरं आयुष्यात मनोरंजन करण्यासाठी आम्ही काही विनोद आणले आहेत. ते वाचून तुम्हाला नकी हसू येईल आणि तुम्ही आनंदित व्हाल. चला तर मग वाचूया काही मराठी विनोद –

137 thoughts on “लग्ना’च्या पहिल्या रात्री नवरा-बायको कार्य’क्रम करत असतात, “नवरा सुरु’वात करतो”

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  57. Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would value your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an email.

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