एकदा सु’नबाई सा’सूचे पाय दाबत असते, “तेव्हड्यात सा’सूची साडी चुकून वर जाते”

Home मनोरंजन मराठी विनोद सामान्य ज्ञान

नमस्कार मंडळी… नेहमी प्रमाणे आज हि आम्ही तुमच्यासाठी नवीन मराठी विनोद घेऊन आलोय.. ते वाचल्यानंतर तुम्ही नक्की हसणार आणि तुम्हाला ते विनोद खूप आवडतील आणि हा शेयर करायला विसरू नका….. कारण तुम्ही शेयर किंवा कंमेंट करता तर आम्हाला चांगले वाटते.. विनोद हा जेवनाप्रमाणे असतो जसे जेवण केल्यावर पोट भरते तसेच विनोद वाचल्याने हसून हसून आपले पोट भरते… म्हणून रोज किमान ३-४ विनोद नक्की वाचत जा… विनोद वाचल्यामुळे आपण हसतो आणि हसल्यामुळे आपले आरोग्य निरोगी राहते… चला तर मग हसण्याच्या आपल्या कॉमेडी एक्सप्रेसला सुरुवात करूया….!!!

विनोद १- बंडू: डॉक्टर साहेब मी माझ्या शरीरावर जिथे पण माझ बोट लावतो ती जाग फार दुकते….डॉक्टर: तुझ्या पूर्ण शरीराच एक्सरे काढावा लागेल
बंडू च्या पूर्ण शरीराचा एक्सरे काढल्यावर कळत….त्याच्या बोटाला फ्रैक्चर आहे….

विनोद २- चम्प्या एकदा एका दुकानात जातो.. चम्प्या – मला माझ्या कु त्र्या साठी बिस्कीट पाहिजे..दुकानदार – कु त्रा कुठे आहे? चम्प्या – घरी आहे.. दुकानदार – सॉ री सर, कु त्र्याला न बघता मी तुम्हाला बिस्कीट नाही देऊ शकत……दुसर्या दिवशी चम्प्या परत त्याच दुकानात. चम्प्या – मला माझ्या मां जरी साठी कॅट फूड पाहिजे. ..दुकानदार – मांजर कुठे आहे? चम्प्या – घरी आहे… दुकानदार – सॉ री.. मी तुम्हाला मांजर दाखवल्याशिवाय कॅट फूड नाही देऊ शकत..
तिसर्या दिवशी चम्प्या परत त्याच दुकानात. चम्प्या डायरेक्ट बॅग ओपन करतो आणि दुकानदाराला हात मध्ये टाकायला सांगतो….दुकानदार – काहीतरी चिकट आणि मऊ मऊ लागतंय…काय आहे यात? ..चम्प्या – सं डा स आहे…मला टॉय लेट पेपर पाहिजे…

विनोद ३- एक गुज राती सेठ मर तांना – ”माझी प्रिय अर्धांगीनी तु इथे आहेस?” बायको – हो मी इथेच आहे……. सेठ :-” माझी प्रिय मुले आणि मुली तुम्ही सगळे इथेच आहात?”
मुले आणि मुली – हो बाबा…. सेठ – मग गाढवांनो शेजारच्या खोलीतील पंखा का सुरु आहे..???

विनोद ४- एक टोपीवाला गावातून जात असतो, तो द मतो, म्हणून झाडाखाली वि श्रांती घेतो… उठून पाहतो तर झाडावरच्या माकडांनी त्याच्या टोप्या पळ वल्या असतात…
त्याला आजोबांची गोष्ट आठवते… तो स्वताकडची दुसरी टोपी जमिनीवर रा गा ने आ पटतो… पण यावेळी झाडावरची माकड त्याच अनुकरण करत नाहीत….
उलट १ माकड दा त दाखवून बोलतो, “काय रे श हा ण्या, आजोबा काय फक्त तुलाच होते का???”

विनोद ५- डोक्टर कडे फोन ची बेल वाजते पलीकडचा माणूस : डोक्टर साहेब, कापूस आहे का? डोक्टर: हो आहे की……पलीकडुन: थोडा काढा आणि खीशात ठेवा. परत १० मी. फोन येतो.
पलीकडचा माणूस : डोक्टर साहेब, कापूस आहे का? डोक्टर: हो आहे की. पलीकडुन: थोडा काढा आणि खीशात ठेवा. अस ३ ते ४ वेळा झाल्यावर डोक्टर फ़ार चिडतो.. मनात म्हणतो आता येवू देत फोन बघतोच त्याच्याकडे.
१० मी. पुन्हा बेल वाजते… पलीकडचा माणूस : डोक्टर साहेब, कापूस आहे का? डोक्टर: जोरात ओर डतो.. नाहीये का? पलीकडचा माणूस : आहो मग चि डता कशाला खिशातला काढा की….

विनोद ६- चम्प्या कोका को लाचा ग्लास टेबल वर ठेऊन उ दास बसला होता… झंप्या आला आणि त्याने तो ग्लास पि ऊन टाकला… आणि बोलला – अरे चम्प्या !! इतका उ दास का रे तू?
चम्प्या – अरे यार…आजचा दिवसच बेका र आहे यार… सकाळी सकाळी बायकोशी भां डण झालं.. ऑफिस ला जाताना गाडी ख राब झाली.. TA XI ने जात होतो तर T AXI चा ACCI DENT झालं..
ऑफिस मध्ये उशिरा पोहोचलोम्हणून बॉ स ने नौ करी वरून काढून टाकलं.. आणि वि ष टाकलेलं कोका कोला प्यावं म्हटलं तर..तो तू पि ऊन टाकलास..

विनोद ७- एका बा र मध्ये एकदा झो लर बि अ र ची ऑ र्डर करतो.. बाजूची मुलगी : योगायोग आहे, मी पण बि अ र ऑर्डर केलीय……झो लर :- अच्छा, मी सेलि ब्रेट करतोय…… मुलगी :- मी पण… झो लर :- योगायोग आहे. काही विशेष कारण??
मुलगी :- माझ लग्न होऊन ४ वर्ष झाली, अजून मुल नव्हत. आज मी “प्रे ग्न न्ट ” आहे. झो लर :- मी पण शे त करी आहे, माझ्या कोंब डीला २ वर्ष झाली अजून अं ड देत नवती, आज अं ड दिल.
मुलगी :- आज कस काय दिल? काय केल हो तुम्ही? झो लर :- काही खास नाही, फक्त “कों ब डा” बदलला मी….. मुलगी :- काय यो गा यो ग आहे……… मी पण तेच केलाय…

विनोद ८- चम्या:- तुला कोणाकडून हि पै से हवे असतील ना तर फक्त मला तुमची सि क्रेट माहित आहे असे फक्त म्हणायचे. रम्या:- मस्तच रम्या घरी जातो, बाबाना म्हणतो:- मला तुमची सि क्रे ट माहित आहेत,
बाबा त्याला ५०० रु काढून देतात…… आई कडे जातो:- आईला म्हणतो:- मला तुझी सि क्रे ट्स कळली आहेत. आई त्याला २००० रु देते…… बाहेर पडतो आणि शेजारील लोलु काकांकडे जातो आणि त्यांना म्हणतो मला तुमची सि क्रे ट कळली आहेत.
लोलु काका:- ये, एकदा तरी वडिलांना मि ठी मा र……

विनोद ९ – एकदा सुन बाई सासूचे पाय दाबत असते. तेव्हड्यात सासूची सा डी चुकून वर जाते आणि सुनबा ईला…..सासू च्या गु फेचे द र्शन होते. हे पाहून सुन बाई बोलते.
सुनबाई – प्रणाम.!! सासू – कोणाला? सुनबाई – माझ्या सास र्याच्या रण भूमी ला आणि आमच्या ह्यांच्या जन्म भूमी ला.

नमस्कार मंडळी… नेहमी प्रमाणे आज हि आम्ही तुमच्यासाठी नवीन मराठी विनोद घेऊन आलोय.. ते वाचल्यानंतर तुम्ही नक्की हसणार आणि तुम्हाला ते विनोद खूप आवडतील आणि हा शेयर करायला विसरू नका….. कारण तुम्ही शेयर किंवा कंमेंट करता तर आम्हाला चांगले वाटते.. विनोद हा जेवनाप्रमाणे असतो जसे जेवण केल्यावर पोट भरते तसेच विनोद वाचल्याने हसून हसून आपले पोट भरते… म्हणून रोज किमान ३-४ विनोद नक्की वाचत जा… विनोद वाचल्यामुळे आपण हसतो आणि हसल्यामुळे आपले आरोग्य निरोगी राहते… चला तर मग हसण्याच्या आपल्या कॉमेडी एक्सप्रेसला सुरुवात करूया….!!!

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  52. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the images aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.