लग्नाच्या रात्री बायको नवऱ्याला प्रेमाने बोलते

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नमस्कार मंडळी…!!

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विनोद १- रात्री नवरा बायको रिकामे कामे करत असतात, अचानक बायको नवऱ्याला बोलते
बायको- अहो काय हळू हळू मालगाडी चालवता आहेत जरा फास्ट गाडी चालवा….!!!! जरा राजधानी एक्सप्रेस चालवा…!!
नवरा आपला स्पीड वाढवतो अचानक बाजूला झोपलेला लहान पोरगा पलंगावरून खाली पडतो…!!
मुलगा आपले ढोपर चोळत उठतो आणि बोलतो….!!!
मुलगा: अरे तुम्हाला जे चालवयाचे आहे ते चालवा पण कृपया पॅसेंजरला त्रास नका देऊ..!!!

विनोद 2- एकदा मन्या दवाखान्यात जातो आणि डॉक्टरला सांगतो….!!!
मन्या: अहो डॉक्टर साहेब मला ना नॉर्मल संडास होतच नाही…!!!!
डॉक्टर: म्हणजे मला समजले नाही नीट सांग…!!!
मन्या: अहो म्हणजे बघा मी भाजी खालली कि भाजीच पडते…!!! चपाती खाल्ली कि चपातीच पडते..!!
भात जर खाल्ला तर भातच पडतो…..!!! मला सांगा ना कि नॉर्मल संडास होण्यासाठी मी काय खाऊ???
डॉक्टर: साल्या गु.. खा गु… डोक्याची दही नको करू….!!!!

विनोद 3- हा विनोद खूप चावट आहे ज्याला चावट जोक्स आवडता त्यांनीच वाचा…!!
एकदा नवरा बायको रिकामे काम (सं-भोग ) करत असतात… तेवढ्यात दरवाज्याची बेल वाजते….!!!
मग नवऱ्याने १० मिनिटांनी दरवाजा उघडला…!!! मित्र: काय रे एवढा वेळ का लागला दरवाजा उघडायला…!!!
नवरा: अरे आम्ही दोघे ना चटणी कुटत होतो….!!! मित्र: अरे वाह वहिनी आम्हाला पण चटणी चाटवा ना…!!!
हुशार वहिनी: अरे मी आताच भांडी धून टाकली…!!! तुझ्या भावाच्या चमच्यावर थोडी लागली असेल चाटून घे..!!!

विनोद 4- एकदा एका रिक्षामध्ये एक प्रेमी जोडा कि-स करत असतो….!!!
रिक्षाच्या ड्रॉयव्हर त्यांना चुपचाप आरशातून बघत असतो….!!! आणि पुढे जाऊन त्या रिक्षाचा अप-घात होतो….!!
मग थोड्या वेळेने रिक्षा ड्रायवर डोक्याला हाथ लावून म्हणतो… आईला आता समजले कि टायटानिक जहाज का बुडाले ते…!!!

विनोद 5- एकदा बायको लाजत-लाजत आपल्या नवऱ्याला सांगते…!!
बायको: अहो आज ना मी अंघोळ करून बाथरूम मधून टॉवेल लावून ओल्या अंगाने बाहेर आली
आणि नेमके सासरेबुवा समोर आले….!!!! नवरा: अरे बाप रे ! मग तू काय केले?????
बायको: काय करणार हो..!!! लगेच टॉवेल सोडून त्याचा पदर करून डोक्यावर घेतला आणि त्यांना नमस्कार केला….!!!
नवरा: वाह संस्कार म्हणजे संस्कार..!! संस्कारात तडजोड नाही..!!!!

विनोद ६- एकदा एक मुलगा खूप रडत असतो त्याला बघून एक मुलगी विचारते…!!!
मुलगी: काय झालं रे..!!! का एवढा रडत आहेस…!!! मुलगा: अगं मी आज पर्यंत कोणत्याच मुलीला कि-स नाही केले आहे…!!!
मुलगी: घे मग माझी किस..!!! किस झाल्यानंतर मुलगा हसतो खूप हसतो….!!
मुलगी: का रे तू का हसत आहेस…!!! मुलगा: कारण मी असाच रडून रडून सर्व मुलींना वेडे बनवले आहे आणि आज तू हि बनली…!!

विनोद ७: एका म्हातारीचा जावई खुप काळा होता,
सासु : जावईबापू तुम्ही एक महिना इथेच रहा मजा करा आरामात रहा.
जावई : अरे वाह सासुबाई आज खुप प्रेम ऊतू चालले आमच्यासाठी !! सासु – अरे प्रेम वैगेरे काही नाही काळतोंडया ….
ते तर आमच्या म्हशीचे पिल्लू मे लय….तुला बघून म्हैस कमीत कमी दूध तर देईल.

विनोद ८ : झंप्या आपल्या होणारी बायकोला घेऊन पहिल्यांदा बागेत गेला होता.
आजूबाजूला कोणी नाही हे बघून त्याने तिला विचारलं, “मी तुझे चुं*बन घेऊ शकतो का?”
मुलगी : नाही !!! झंप्या : का ग, असं नाही का म्हणते आहेस?
मुलगी : आईने सांगितलं आहे कि त्याने काहीही विचारलं कि “नाही” उत्तर घ्यायचं
झंप्या : (विचार करून) ठीक आहे, मग मला सांग, मी तुझे चुं*बन घेतले तर तुझी हरकत नाही ना?” मुलगी : नाही…

विनोद ९:लग्नाच्या पहिल्या रात्री नंतर
नवरा बायकोला बोलला – जानू कस वाटत आहे? मज्जा आली का नाही ?
बायको – लाजून तुम्हाला आली का ?
नवरा – हो खूपच…
बायको – आपला रेकॉर्डच आहे आजून पर्यंत कोणीच तक्रार नाही केली आहे

विनोद १०: सुहा गरात्री च्या दिवशी बा यको नवऱ्याला प्रे माने बोलते
बायको- अहो लवकर करा ना? नवरा- तुला काय घाई आहे
अजून पूर्ण रा त्र आहे… बायको- अहो मला वाटलं….
बाकी कस्ट मर वाट बघताय नवरा जागेवर बे शु द्ध 🤣😛🤣😛

हसणे आरोग्यासाठी खूप चांगले आहे. हसून राहणारा माणूस काही काळ आपला तणाव विसरतो आणि जीवनात खूप आनंदित आणि फ्रेश राहतो. मला सांगा हसणे कोणाला आवडत नाही, परंतु आजकाल धकाधकीच्या आयुष्यात माणूस स्वतःसाठी वेळ काढू शकत नाही आणि बहुतेक वेळा जीवनाच्या शर्यतीत उदास राहतो. अशा परिस्थितीत जर आपण एखाद्याला विनोद सांगतो त्यांनतर तो माणूस हसतो आणि आपलया सर्व तणावापासून मुक्त होतो आणि त्याचे मन आनंदित होते. म्हणून लोकांना हसवत रहा आणि आनंदित रहा तसेच स्वतः देखील हसत रहा. आज हि आम्ही असेच काही विनोद तुमच्यासाठी घेऊन आलो आहोत ते वाचल्यानंतर तुम्ही नक्की हसणार आणि हे विनोद शेयर करणार….!!!

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