लग्नाची पहिली रात्र असते

सामान्य ज्ञान

नमस्कार मंडळी…

नेहमी प्रमाणे आज हि आम्ही तुमच्यासाठी नवीन मराठी विनोद घेऊन आलोय.. ते वाचल्यानंतर तुम्ही नक्की हसणार आणि तुम्हाला ते विनोद खूप आवडतील आणि हा शेयर करायला विसरू नका….. कारण तुम्ही शेयर किंवा कंमेंट करता तर आम्हाला चांगले वाटते.. विनोद हा जेवनाप्रमाणे असतो जसे जेवण केल्यावर पोट भरते तसेच विनोद वाचल्याने हसून हसून आपले पोट भरते… म्हणून रोज किमान ३-४ विनोद नक्की वाचत जा… विनोद वाचल्यामुळे आपण हसतो आणि हसल्यामुळे आपले आरोग्य निरोगी राहते… चला तर मग हसण्याच्या आपल्या कॉमेडी एक्सप्रेसला सुरुवात करूया….!!!

विनोद १: दिवाळीच्या रात्री पप्पू रडत रडत घरी येतो त्याची आई त्याला विचारते काय झालं ? का रडतोय?
पप्पू: अगं आई मी एक रॉकेट उडवले ते चंद्राला जाऊन ठोकले…
आई: अरे बाप रे इतक्या दूर गेले तुझे रॉकेट… मग तू रडतो का आहेस… ???
पप्पू: अगं पण मला खूप मारले म्हणून मी रडतो आहे…
आई: कोणी मारले माझ्या पोराला? पप्पू: शेजारच्या चंद्राच्या आईने…..

विनोद २: एकदा वर्गात नवीन शिक्षक मुलांना विज्ञान शिकवत असतात.. अचानक पप्पू ला शिक्षक एक प्रश्न विचारतात
शिक्षक : पप्पू ..!! भारतातील सर्वात महान वैज्ञानिकाचे नाव सांग ??
पप्पू : गुरुजी भारतातील सर्वात महान वैज्ञानिकाचे नाव आहे आलिया भट्ट…
शिक्षक काठी घेऊन पप्पू कडे गेले आणि पप्पूला खूप मारले…
तेवढ्यात एक विद्यार्थी जोरात ओरडला, ” गुरुजी तो बोबडा आहे ”
तो आर्य भट्ट सांगत आहे …. शिक्षक वर्गातून गायब………

विनोद ३: पप्पूच लग्न एका सुंदर मुलीशी झालं…
पप्पू खूप आनंदित होता कारण त्याची बायको खूप सुंदर होती… .
दोघांची लग्नाची पहिली रात्र आली..
पप्पू: शोना तू माझ्यात असं काय बघितले कि मला पसंद केले
बायको: मी एकदा तुला मुततांना बघितले होते…
त्याची दिवशी ठरवेल करेल तर ह्याच्याशी लग्न….

विनोद ४: एकदा नवरा बायको मध्ये खूप जोराची भांडण होते.. रागाच्या भरात बायकोच्या तोंडून नवऱ्याला कुत्रा बोलले गेले…
नवरा: तू मला कुत्रा बोलली?? बायको: चूप बसा… नवरा: अजून जोरात विचारतो… तू मला कुत्रा बोलली??
बायको: चूप बसा हो… नवराचा अजून पारा चढतो अजून जोरात विचारतो… तू मला कुत्रा बोलली??
बायको: अहो नाही बोलली… प्लिज आता भुकायचं बंद करा…

विनोद ५: एकदा मुलगा मुलीला प्रपोस करतो.. मुलगी त्याला नकार देते आणि बोलते
मुलगी: तुझी औकाद आहे का? माझ्याशी लग्न करण्याची….
मुलगा (हसतो) तुला माहित आहे माझ्या वडिलांसमोर किती हि मोठा श्रीमंत माणूस असू दे तो वाटी घेऊन उभा राहतो…
मुलगी: अरे बाप रे ! सॉरी सॉरी..!! मग तुझे वडील तर खूपच श्रीमंत असतील ?
मुलगा: अगं नाही नाही..!! माझे पप्पा पाणीपुरी विकता…
पोरगी जागेवर बेशुद्ध

विनोद ६: एका माणसाला वयानुसार टक्कल पडत असते.. तो एकदा केस कापायला सलून मध्ये जातो…
माणूस: अरे माझ्या डोक्यावर किती कमी केस आहेत.. तू माझ्याकडून केस कापायचे पैसे कमी घेत जा…
सलून वाला: अहो मी तुमच्या कडून केस कापायचे पैसे नाही घेत?
माणूस: मग कसले पैसे घेतात ? सलून वाला: मी केस शोधायचे पैसे घेतो…

विनोद ७: एकदा आपला बंड्या सिक्योरिटी जॉबच्या इंटरव्ह्यूसाठी कंपनी मध्ये गेला…
साहेब: तुमचं नाव काय? बंड्या: माझं नाव बंड्या… साहेब: शिक्षण किती झाले?
बंड्या: १२ वी पास आहे.. साहेब: तुला इंग्रजी येते का?
बंड्या: (बंड्याला इंग्रजी येत नसते म्हणून) का साहेब चोर इंग्लंड वरून येणार आहेत का???
बंड्याला लाथा मारून बाहेर काढला ….

विनोद ८: एक बाई रिक्षा मधून खाली पडते
तिची साडी पूर्ण वरती होते आणि रिक्षावाल्याला सर्व दिसते
कोणाला दिसेल त्या आधी बाई लगेच उठून उभी राहते
बाई- बघितली का माझी स्पुर्ती…
रिक्षावाला- आमच्यात तिला स्पुर्ती नाही पपई म्हणतात…
ज्याला समजला त्यांनीच हसा….

विनोद ९: लग्ना’च्या पहिल्या रात्री नवरा बायको कार्य’क्रम करत असतात
नवरा सुरु’वात करतो ….. बायको- अहो खूप दुखत आहे, हळू करा हो…!!
नवरा- तू १० पर्यंत आकडे मोज…. नंतर मी थांबेल….
बायको- १, २ आह.. ३,४ आईईईई… ५,६ आह्ह्हह्ह… ७,८ ह्ह्हह्ह, ९,१० वाहह्ह्ह्ह… १०,९….. हम्म्म्म्म….. ८,७…. ह्म्म्म मस्तततत्त्त्त…
६,५ थांबू नकाकक्कक्क…. 😂😜😂😂

नेहमी प्रमाणे आज हि आम्ही तुमच्यासाठी नवीन मराठी विनोद घेऊन आलोय.. ते वाचल्यानंतर तुम्ही नक्की हसणार आणि तुम्हाला ते विनोद खूप आवडतील आणि हा शेयर करायला विसरू नका….. कारण तुम्ही शेयर किंवा कंमेंट करता तर आम्हाला चांगले वाटते.. विनोद हा जेवनाप्रमाणे असतो जसे जेवण केल्यावर पोट भरते तसेच विनोद वाचल्याने हसून हसून आपले पोट भरते… म्हणून रोज किमान ३-४ विनोद नक्की वाचत जा… विनोद वाचल्यामुळे आपण हसतो आणि हसल्यामुळे आपले आरोग्य निरोगी राहते… चला तर मग हसण्याच्या आपल्या कॉमेडी एक्सप्रेसला सुरुवात करूया….!!!

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